The Problem with Resolutions
Every January, millions of people resolve to do something. Go to the gym. Eat better. Meditate. Get promoted. Read more books.
And every February, most of those resolutions are already broken.
Here’s what I want you to consider: the problem isn’t willpower. The problem isn’t discipline. The problem is that resolutions are built on the wrong foundation.
When you make a resolution, you’re resolving to do or not do a thing. You’re focused on the what. But you haven’t asked yourself the more important question: why does this matter to me, and who do I want to become?
Think back to the resolutions you’ve made over the years. What happened when you broke them? Did you go easy on yourself? Did you chalk it up to “would be nice” and move on? Did you tell yourself you just didn’t have enough time?
More importantly, how did you feel in that moment?
If you were hard on yourself (which many of us are), I want you to pause and think about something else. Why did you make that resolution in the first place? What were you really after? What qualities about yourself were you hoping to develop that would make you successful at whatever you chose?
Do you see what we’re doing here?
There’s a fundamental difference between resolving to do a thing and identifying the qualities of the human you want to become.
The Why, What, and How Framework
Let me offer you a different way to think about this.
Most resolutions start with the what. I want to go to the gym three days a week. I want to lose 20 pounds. I want to get a promotion.
But the what, by itself, has no staying power. When life gets busy, when motivation fades, when the alarm goes off at 5:30 AM, and it’s cold outside, the what isn’t enough to get you out of bed.
What’s missing is the why. Not the surface-level why (”I want to be healthier”), but the deeper why. What qualities do you want to cultivate? What kind of person do you want to show up as for your family, your team, your clients? How do you want to feel when you look back on this year?
Once you understand the why, the what becomes a vehicle, not a destination. And then you can build the how: specific, measurable milestones that keep you on track without becoming the thing you’re chasing.
This is where tools like Objectives and Key Results come in. OKRs aren’t resolutions. They’re the tactical layer that helps you execute on a purpose you’ve already defined. The difference is in the sequence. Most people start with the goal and never examine the purpose. The best leaders start with purpose and let the goals flow from there.
What Running Taught Me About Becoming
Let me share how this has played out in my own life.
Two and a half years ago, my doctor gave me some stern advice: I needed to get healthier. What started as simply lacing up some shoes and getting outside has turned into a full life passion. This spring, I’ll run my first full marathon, which happens to coincide with a pretty significant milestone: my 50th birthday.
Along the way, I’ve set specific targets. In 2024, I ran multiple 5K and 10K races. In 2025, I completed two half marathons. I track my mileage, my pace, my heart rate. I have a training plan with clear milestones.
But here’s what I’ve learned: those metrics aren’t why I run.
I identify as a runner now because of what running has taught me about who I want to be. The qualities that have developed as a result of this practice include grit and resilience, patience (especially with myself), increased energy, mindfulness about how and what I eat, and a growing realization that certain foods and even alcohol run in contrast to my desire to live a fuller and healthier life.
Most of all, running has made me happier. I am healthier now than I was 25 years ago.
The net result? I show up better and more motivated every day for my loved ones, my team, my clients, and for you, my listeners of the Gold Standard Leadership Lab.
Running isn’t a resolution. It’s a vehicle for becoming the person I want to be.
And here’s something Coach Chris Bennett of Nike Run Club is fond of saying: the finish line is just another starting line in disguise. That marathon I’ve been chasing for two and a half years? It’s not the end of anything. It’s another beginning.
From My Story to Yours
So what does this mean for you?
I’m asking you to remove resolutions from your New Year’s vocabulary. Instead, I want you to think carefully about the qualities of your life, as a human, that you want to develop. Small changes, made consistently, ripple into much larger differences by year’s end.
Ask yourself:
Do you want to be a more mindful and active listener to your spouse, partner, children, friends, team members, and clients?
Do you want to slow down enough to have time in your daily calendar to think, to process that meeting you were just in, to digest the summary, and identify next actions?
Do you want to pay more attention to your team and authentically thank and appreciate them, both in private and in public?
If you answered yes to any of those, you’ve identified something worth working on. More importantly, you’ve identified a quality worth developing, not just a task to complete.
Practical Tools for the Journey
Once you’ve identified the qualities you want to cultivate, you need practices that support them. A few that have made a real difference for me:
Meditation, even just a couple of minutes per day, builds the capacity for presence and active listening. You don’t need an hour. You need consistency.
Gratitude journaling shifts your attention toward appreciation, which naturally flows into how you engage with your team and the people around you.
Weekly Reviews on Friday afternoons give you space to process your week and prepare for the week ahead. This is how you take control of your calendar instead of letting your calendar control you.
These aren’t resolutions. They’re practices that shape the person you’re becoming. The doing serves the being.
Reinvention Is Always Available
One pillar of what I call the Golden Leadership Cycle is reinvention. (The other two are resilience and empowerment.) You’re never too seasoned or too early in your career to reinvent yourself. I know this from personal experience.
The invitation I’m extending to you right now is simple: take the time to think. Slowly. About the qualities you want to develop, not just the things you want to do. Understand the real desires you have and why they matter to you. Then work backward from there.
Chart the course now, and by December, you’ll be looking back at a year of meaningful progress, not a list of broken promises.
Start Here
If this resonates with you, here’s what I’d suggest as a first step: write down three qualities you want to embody more fully in 2026. Not goals. Not tasks. Qualities.
Maybe it’s patience. Maybe it’s presence. Maybe it’s courage in difficult conversations. Maybe it’s showing up with more energy for the people who matter most.
Once you have those three qualities, ask yourself: what practices or pursuits would help me develop them? That’s your what. And from there, you can build the how.
And if you need a hand working through this, reach out. I’d be glad to think through it with you.
Here’s to a 2026 defined not by what you resolve to do, but by who you’re becoming.
