“Leading from 50,000 feet feels strategic - until your team feels invisible.”
It’s easy to drift away from the work that once defined you. Strategy, client relationships, and growth targets take over, while the day-to-day reality of your team fades from view. Yet, losing this proximity can have serious consequences. It can lead to a credibility gap, an erosion of empathy, and a deficit in decision quality. Proximity is the ability to stay connected to people and to the work itself and is the foundation of credible, human-centered leadership. When you lose it, you lose the trust, empathy, and grounding that make leadership real.
The Moment I Saw It Happen
About a decade ago, an executive flew in from our new parent company. A year after the acquisition, morale was low. When he took me to lunch, he asked how he could bring everyone together.
My answer came fast: “Hold a team meeting. Look everyone in the eye. Tell them the work they do here matters. Skip the corporate jargon. Just let them know they matter.”
He loved it and emailed his assistant right there to set up a meeting for later that day.
When we gathered in the bullpen, I was filled with anticipation. The moment he started speaking, though, it was over. All I could hear him say was about revenue targets, synergies, budgets; basically, a 20-minute lecture. As people turned back to their desks, they rolled their eyes, feeling just as invisible as before.
He blew it. Absolutely blew it.
Ninety percent of that room were project managers, technical analysts, IT specialists, and forensic examiners. None of them cared about synergies or integration plans. They cared about being seen and valued. The right move was simple - tell them their work matters in words they could feel.
That moment taught me something I’ve never forgotten: language is the first bridge - or the first barrier - to trust. Once you start speaking in code that only other executives understand, you lose the people who make your strategy possible.
Nearly a decade later, I feel for this executive. When you stop doing the day-to-day work, you forget what it’s like. He had been an executive for so long that he forgot.
Three Ways Disconnection Destroys Leadership
The Credibility Gap
When you stop doing the work, your team starts mentally categorizing your input. Some advice still lands. Other advice gets the polite nod, followed by the real conversation after you leave. If you haven’t experienced the daily work your team does, your strategic guidance may be interpreted differently. They won’t express it directly, but it happens.
The Empathy Erosion
When you’re proving yourself, you typically don’t say no. Sixty-hour weeks aren’t a choice; they’re the cost of advancement. But when you become the leader, your calendar becomes yours to control. You forget what it felt like when you couldn’t do any of those things. So when someone on your team is drowning, your advice sounds logical but feels disconnected. Saying things like: “Set better boundaries.” “Push back on unrealistic timelines”, etc., are all detached from someone who can’t afford to be the person who says no. This disconnect can make your team feel misunderstood and uncared for.
The Decision Quality Deficit
Leaders who’ve lost proximity make decisions that look smart on paper but crumble when they come into contact with reality. They green-light timelines that sound reasonable until someone actually has to deliver. That executive I told you about had made communication decisions based on what worked in his world. But he had forgotten that 90% of our team didn’t speak that language.
How to Maintain Proximity Without Sacrificing Leadership
The best leaders aren’t the ones who’ve fully transcended the work. They’re the ones who maintain just enough connection that their guidance stays grounded, their empathy stays sharp, and their decisions stay realistic. It’s about finding a balance between strategic thinking and staying connected to the day-to-day work. Here are three ways that you can maintain that proximity starting today.
1. The Quarterly Immersion
Block time once a quarter to shadow someone on your team or take on a small piece of actual client work. Not as a supervisor. As a participant. When I do this, I always learn something that changes how I lead. This learning process keeps me engaged and open to new experiences, ensuring that my leadership stays grounded and realistic.
2. The Listening Tour
Schedule regular 1-on-1s where the only agenda is: “Teach me what’s changed in your world.” Then stop speaking and listen. Don’t try to problem-solve. Don’t defend. Just absorb.
Ask questions that invite psychological safety:
“What’s one obstacle you face that no one’s asking you about?”
“What’s one thing I probably think is easy that’s actually hard?”
“If you could change one thing about how we operate, what would it be?”
Better yet, ask one person on your team: “What’s one thing I probably think is easy that’s actually hard?” The answer will tell you exactly where you’ve lost proximity. If you really want to be a bit more vulnerable, ask one person on your team: “What’s one thing I probably think is easy that’s actually hard?” The answer will tell you exactly where you’ve lost proximity.
A 2023 Gallup study found that employees who feel heard are 4.6 times more likely to feel empowered to perform at their best. Listening - truly listening - is an essential skill for effective leadership.
3. The Language Audit
Record yourself in your next team meeting. Count how many times you use corporate jargon that would mean nothing to someone doing the day-to-day work. That executive from nearly a decade ago couldn’t just talk to people. He’d been speaking executive-to-executive for so long that the language of humans had become foreign. If your default communication requires translation, you’ve drifted. This week, kill one piece of corporate speak. Instead of “let’s align,” say “let’s make sure we agree.” Minor language changes signal significant changes in proximity.
What I’m Trying Not to Lose
I have thought about that meeting with that executive constantly over the years. Not because I’m angry. I feel for him now in a way I couldn’t then. He genuinely wanted to connect, but the distance had become too great.
I think about it because I’m fearful of becoming him.
I can feel the pull. The calendar that fills with strategy. The meetings are about direction, not execution. And I catch myself sometimes, mid-sentence, using three acronyms that probably meant nothing to the person across from me.
I started my career living with the tools. Today, my calendar looks different. The work that got me here is no longer the work I do.
And that’s okay. That’s growth. That’s what leadership requires.
But what I am super mindful of is never, ever losing the ability to look someone in the eye and say, “The work you do matters,” in a way they can feel is real. Because I watched a room full of people walk away feeling invisible after a leader flew in specifically to make them feel seen. And that proximity is something I am very sensitive to and don’t ever want my team to feel the way that room did.
The Golden Leadership Cycle I developed consists of three key components: Reinvention, Resilience, and Empowerment. One important lesson about maintaining proximity is that it is essential for genuine Empowerment. You cannot empower a team without truly understanding them. To build your team’s Resilience, you must continually Reinvent your leadership practices.
If you lost your title tomorrow, would your team still ask for your advice? Not because they have to, but because your guidance is grounded, your empathy sharp, and your understanding current?
If the answer is yes, you’ve maintained proximity. If the answer is “I’m not sure,” you’ve got work to do.
Find one small way this week to get closer to the work. Not to micromanage. To remember what it actually feels like. Because the moment you forget is the moment you start leading from memory instead of reality.
And your team deserves better than that.
